i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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