My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
