3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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