Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
