and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
