oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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