you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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