I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
