alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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