I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
