i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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