i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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