if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize