Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
