you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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