I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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