So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
