In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
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