My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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