Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
