so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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