So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
