between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just forgot I was standing up.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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