i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
