i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
