giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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