youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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