I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
