If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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