I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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