I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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