You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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