Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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