go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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