Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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