can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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