i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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