she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I enjoy the company of your penis
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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