dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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