he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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