i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
