One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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