I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
