sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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