And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize