with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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