wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize