They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
