I want to stick my p in your. b.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize