Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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