PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
