walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
ttyl tear gas
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Damn victory sex feels great
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
