I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
