Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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