come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
