is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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