Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
