I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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