If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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